dream unburied - for jean

i hv been following this writer's blog journal every now and then. i hope jean will get to read this and continue to be inspired in her journey of faith....towards a
3rd career...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Have you ever had a dream goal you wanted but thought the chance to reach it has gone?

Perhaps you are thinking, that by now, you would be too old, too slow and too busy to pursue the dream. You may have regrets that you had not spend your youthful days in its pursuit, or guilt that you have let it get away. You may question if you have the financial means, the social support and the inner-strength to do it now. I have one long-buried dream, which I am resurrecting.

In September 1992, I was admitted into the Honours class in Psychology. It was a gorgeous year of learning for me. I spent time reading research articles, debating research methodologies, questioning research results and critiquing one another’s ideas. I was part of three research teams- Family Relations, Adoption and Couple Abuse. It was also a year where the Honours class asked ourselves, “which graduate school are we going to?” There was no doubt that we were being prepared for further research work, and to become future psychology professors, or clinical psychologists.

By February 1993, I was offered graduate places in 5 universities, among which was Teachers’ College, Columbia University. It was an exciting time to choose where I would go next. I was young, bright and lavishing in the great possibilities of youthful scholastic adventures.

I rejected Columbia University because I was afraid to move to New York. In my youthfulness, I let irrational fear get in my way.

I accepted a scholarship and a fellowship from my alma mater to do my Masters. I spent the months of September 1993 to July 1994 in scholarly heaven. I was “paid” to study – read, question, research, discuss and write. I was also teaching undergraduates “Introduction to Psychology”.

One day in early 1994, I got a call to “come home” from my father. I told my research supervisor that I had an opportunity and responsibility to return to Singapore, to set up early childhood education centres. I would continue with my research while I worked and got married. Being the super-achiever that I was, it was not beyond my capabilities to design curriculum, train teachers, get married, and have two sons by 1997. I even had the time to conduct cross-cultural research on mother’s beliefs about education in both Vancouver and Singapore. And write a paper on “Teaching Thinking to Pre-schoolers” for the 7th International Thinking Conference.

Till the retrenchment happened, my third child was born, and my marriage collapsed, all within the last months of 1999.

One of the casualty of my divorce was my studies. I gave it up, in order to be single mother to three young ones, and to develop a new career in Raffles Institution. At that time, with a pinch of salt, I said to myself, “I am putting aside the MA to focus on being a MAMA.”

Nevertheless, the researcher in me remained curious. Even as I counseled and coached adolescents, I observed the interventions, conversations and progress – resulting in a presentation at the 2002 International Congress of Applied Psychology. When I worked with business leaders, I tested assumptions on great leadership. I kept my observations in my journals and I discussed ways to improvement interventions.

Furthermore, writing 22 books helped satisfy the writer in me, while the interviews for “Break to Dawn” was based on qualitative research methods.

You can take the researcher out of the school, but you cannot take the researcher out of me.

And now, almost 20 years after I first started my post-graduate education, after raising 3 children, after 22 books, and countless lessons taught to leaders, I am standing on the edge of a possible return to school.

My children find it hilarious that “mom wants to go to school again” when they cannot wait to end school. My husband thinks I would be a brilliant professor.

It is never too late to unbury a dream. If you believe it is aligned to your life purpose and will make a difference, go take it out. A dear friend asked me, “what would you regret if you do not do it?”

I know it is not too late, but timely. I may not be 23, but I have a wealth of wisdom gained over the last 18 years. I have learnt about life the hard way, I have picked myself up from huge falls, I have become more sensitive and empathetic to the setbacks of leaders. I am now more confident of myself, and more passionate about what I stand for.

I am ready to be a formal scholar again (as opposed to a closet one). For the last three years, I have pondered about this dream goal, questioning if my team is ready to step up and if I am ready for the challenge. Finally, I am going beyond “thinking” – I am taking action. I am starting the process of applying to graduate schools again. This time, not as a 22-year-old but a 41-year-old.

When I was 23 and teaching Introduction to Psychology, I had a student who was 62. She taught me that it was never too late to go back to school, that being a matured student meant she came with wisdom not found in the textbooks, and I delighted in her questions and insights.

She unburied her dream at 62, what about you?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

isnt the writer one who provides such good motivation about life? failures did not strike her off the ground; instead, she rebounded and metaphored herself to a stronger being.....and continues to search for new meanings in life! that's the spirit.