misunderstanding

i put forth a proposal to my 2 girls.

after hearing the reply of the younger one, i started to label her as 'self-centred, not knowing how to share her blessings with others..." she fought back her tears but was crying inside her heart.

back home, she shared with her jiejie if she was in the wrong. she related to her jiejie how sad she was, when i mis-judged her that way.

sitting them down, the younger one was in the midst of swallowing her sphaghetti lunch, and was crying buckets and choking intermittently on the food. yes, she was apparently upset....

halfway, she commented that she felt her heart wrenching from pain and had to excuse herself. it was then that i realised the seriousness of hw she felt and quickly followed her in.

i apologised to her for having used such insensitive and harsh words. she was crying non-stop and saying,"i'm very sad. u talk like u dunno me, calling me selfish..."

"aiya claire, everyone makes mistakes, but u knw it's unintentional and here i m sincerely apologising..." i conceded.

in her stubborn mule self, she still had the cheek to rebut,"u dun need to apologise to me what, since i'm a selfish girl!" "i think we better not talk to each other now, if not, more misunderstanding. let me just write down how i feel!"

then, a note came to my sight "...you always think that you are right!"

that was it. i walked out of the room, sharing with joy,"给她台阶下，她都不领情，不知好歹！aye, maturity really as a big role to play when it comes to resolving misunderstanding!"

"u think i cannot hear u?" out came the small girl's reply.

"oh hi claire, i nvr meant to hide any comments from u. in our family, it's an open communication. we dun talk bad about anybody behind the back. i've already...." i responded openly.

then, as i left home to teach, i sincerely offered my apology once more and told her to forgive me. while waiting for the lift, a msg came,"sorry. i love you. u r forgiven" haha, everything normalised. then, joy who was beside me at the lift lobby received also a msg,"dun worry joy. u r still the one i love most!"

so, what was the moral of the story?

1) jie jie should teach claire to speak with more art and poise (blunt-ness is not a virtue)

2) parent like myself should be more mindful of the words used, esp when it involves sensitive matters

3)claire should really acquire the art of resolving matter rather than getting so upset and as a result, getting heart pain. (i swear i almost thot she was going to get 'heart attack')

all in, it's maturity development. some kids mature early taking things in good stride. i guess, the younger one has the privilege of maturing later.....whatever it is, it's a lesson for both.

at the end of it, i put forth a msg to my 2 girls,"whatever is the misunderstanding among our family members, we shall nvr cease communicating with one another. bitterness carried in the heart will only ruin relationship, which is the last thing that we want to see. they agreed. hooray.