Monday, January 24, 2011

new maid, jumi

i hv 2 maids at home now. a cross-over period of 2.5 weeks, hoping that the old one will be able to do a proper training and handover job.

well, where do i start?

the new one is limited in english ability. i hv to go slow, and she's trying to learn simple english. keeping a notebook too! maybe, she won't even understand when i use the word 'scallop' and 'celery'...sigh! breathe in and continue to write!

well, my old one, yati has all the attributes that an employer would love - hardworking, good initiative, smart, keen to learn and an all-rounder. it was with years of grooming and according her with the right compliments and values, i would say, so my effort cannot be denied too...(blink blink)

i can see her putting in effort to teach the new one. but this morn, she briefly told me that the new one shed tears ystday, when she was being told about certain things not done in proper. bully case at home? definitley not.

so, i hv no choice but to end up seeing thru this misunderstanding.

summoning them before me, the points driven across were simple and sharp:-

yati is experienced and unselfish, she's teaching jumi everything that she has learnt. the new maid has to understand the good intentions and not take her words as criticisms. i told her, if i were to take over yati's job, she will likely end up being scolded by me. i could see tears running in yati's eyes when i came in to mediate. afterall, she's doing her best, and the last thing that she would risk having, is to have the new one misunderstanding her intentions. btw, i hate seeing maids cry...

i emphasise on the stuff that i'm very particular with, handling food with cleanliness and some issues to do with proper handling of my children. if claire gets up early in the morn without heater to bathe, i will boil!

i did highlight to yati that we cannot expect the new one to do everything in accordance with the her style, but there're some minimum expectations with ironing, washing...surely, u dun need to be reminded more than twice about towels, clothes and bedsheets to be washed separately!

tmrw will be a week from her joining my household. and i told jumi that there will be a test for her, and yati, obviously will be the 'judge' at the end of the day. i guess, by giving credibility to yati, she will be able to assume her trainer role more effectively.

with yati's impending departure next sat, i dare to say that i can nvr find another capable helper like her. maybe, my household food items will taste different too. different pple, different strokes with cooking lah!

sigh....my dear hubby and kids have been warned. well, maybe that will make us less reliant on domestic helpers and i can do without one after claire completes her p6.






































Tuesday, January 18, 2011

loneliness

Mother Teresa said,"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty."

come to think of it, the most possible reason for people of today's society keeping themselves so busy, stems from their avoidance of loneliness.

many people think that, by keeping themselves surrounded by friends, the loneliness will disappear.

however, we soon begin to realise that what is actually happening is that, we have lost connection with our spiritual beings, and if this void is left unfilled, we will be lonely in our inner souls, no matter how much possessions we own.

i was talking to a lady yesterday, who lamented that her sons are all grown up, and leaving the old folks to live on their own. seeing the married son is like an annual affair, and even then, the gathering always ended up being uncordial.

recently, the married son actually commented that the mother's feet are smelly and this really hurt the lady.

her mentality now is to keep herself away from unhappy things, running her own small stationery shop business and passing the day without much accidental grievances.

she mentioned to me that her spouse is difficult to deal with too, as both have different directions for business. she has been just giving in to him and his idea of accepting non-profit courier deals, and just turning a deaf ear to all his complaints and criticisms.

it's unfortunate for a mom to end up this way, i feel.

on hindsight, my dad and mom are so lucky to have so many children and grandkids surrounding them throughout the week. they are never lonely as everyone is eager to take them out over the weekends (ha, not me, though). my appointment with them is preferably breakfast on weekly basis.

let's hope every one will find peace within themselves and seek inner soul rest.

honesty is the best policy?

honesty is always the right policy or is it subject to flexibility under different circumstances?

i recalled the holiday period where claire and joanna went for a movie together.

at the entrance while showing the tickets to the usher, jo spotted a signboard that said,"no outside food or drink is allowed".

in her honest self, she blurted out to claire,"eh, we brought something in from outside! it's not allowed!"

i almost needed to hide myself. then, claire tried to cover up and said,"no, we did not!"

jo responded bluntly, "yes, we did!" joy told her to keep silent about it.

thk goodness, the usher didnt pay much heed to the tug-of-war conversation and allowed them in.

after we sent the pair of girls in, joy was totally stunned with jo's words and actions.

well, tell me, for economical reason, won't all movie goers 'smuggle in' some snacks and drinks, instead of paying through the nose at the stall outside the theatres?

i guess, jo is downright honest, or should i say 'bluntly honest'. it's a funny memory stored in the brain cells of my 2 girls and myself.

there's nothing wrong with being honest, but i guess if the outcome of hiding sth doesn't hurt so much, some flexibility should be exercised.

if there's anyone in this world who hasn't told a single lie, i would like to meet that special someone.

living in the present

ever heard of this, anyone?

yesterday is a cancelled cheque,
tomorrow is a promissory note,
today is cash in hand : spend it wisely.

indeed, why are moderners like ourselves always bumping around like bumble bees? the regrets of yesterday and worries of tomorrow always weigh on our minds, like a big metal bar.

truly, what we are able to live is just the PRESENT moment.

living for the moment simply means being aware of our state of mind, our tiredness, our need to rest, and appreciating our NOW moment.

we should do what is needed for each day, not just sit there talking or daydreaming about it.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

letting go and moving forward

here's an interesting article which i like to share. the contents are nothing new, but they are stuff which i have strong conviction in.

i hv edited the passage to a simpler version for your pleasure reading.

hope you enjoy it!
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Let's face it. Many of us choose to hang on to things that at some point have hurt us, angered us, made us feel sad, or depressed us.

If we choose to hang on to them, we will never move forward and we could even create physical or medical damage to our bodies. To prevent this from happening we need to let go...but no one really tells you how to let go and move forward. Sure it's easy to say: "Just let go, move forward, forget about it, just let go." But that really doesn't work. I'm about to show you how to let go and start moving forward.

Why so you need to let go and move forward?

Throughout our lives, we go through different experiences, some are positive and some we see as negative and unpleasant. When you hang on to a negative or unpleasant experience you are constantly thinking about it. And when you constantly think about that negative event, you prevent yourself from healing.

Indeed, how many pleasant memories do you recall every day? Chances are you're like most people and you have a number of unpleasant experiences that you're holding on to, which is preventing you from moving forward.

The more you carry the worse life gets. Why? Because you've filled your mind up with negative experiences, because you continually hang on to something that doesn't allow you to move forward, in short, you're carrying useless baggage that's really slowing you down.

Here's an analogy: you're on a hiking trip and along the way you keep picking up heavy objects, things that really don't serve you. After a while, these objects begin to slow you down and unless you get rid of them, you'll never complete your trip.

To let go, you have to get your mind to focus on different goals and different objectives. It's not about saying: I let go of the pain from my fight with -- and move on. That will help, but if you really want to start moving on, then you have to get your mind to focus on new things; in the process, you automatically let go of the things that have been slowing you down.

Researchers believe that that if you hold on to negative feelings, sad emotions or depressing memories there is a possibility that you could reshape the human cell to the point where your thoughts of the past have a negative effect on your cells and your physical health.

Hanging on to negative past events is a process that can destroy your life in ways you're not even aware of.

Sit back quietly and simply ssk yourself these questions: Do the negative things you hang on to serve you any purpose? Do they help you move forward? Do they work in your favor in any way? If you said no to any or all of the above, then tell yourself this: This emotion/feeling doesn't help me so I'm letting it go and focusing on what is important.

Next, begin focusing on what you want next, focus on what is important and what can improve your life. This is a simple process that gets the mind moving in a new direction and you stop building negative energy created from the negative events/emotions, which only attracts more negative situations.

Truly, when you begin focusing on more positive things you begin attracting positive situations.

The next step is to create an action plan; the past is over. Where do you want to go now and how do you plan to get there? You may not have the answers but merely thinking about the options forces your mind to go in a new direction and you automatically let go of unwanted feelings and emotions.

The key to your success is to train your mind to move in a new direction so you send new messages to your subconscious mind, which then brings you the opportunities to move forward.

The final step is to live in the present moment, to start living in the now. Living in the now is different than living for the moment. Living in the now is the process of enjoying everything that is going on at this present moment.

Take a look around you and appreciate those things that you once thought were trivial. When you are here now you can be nowhere else. You are not hanging on to something, you are here now.

I know some of you may say the following: "But where I am right now really sucks, I don't want to think about it." It only sucks because you're looking at all the negative things going on. Focus on a few of the positive things anything from nature to the wonderful family you may have. This forces your mind to look at things differently and tells your subconscious mind that you're ready for new possibilities, then you'll begin to let go and move forward.
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Let's have a wonderful rabbit year ahead!

joy's days after 'o' level release

with the euphoria over regarding the 'o' level results release on 10th jan, joy has submitted her application for jcs. vjc is obviously the first choice, for simple reason of proximity.

hopefully, she will get the preferred combination of subjects in the science faculty.

but guess what, she's been weeeping a fair bit. not because of her circumstances. but her friends'!

three of her good friends, originally planning to enter into the same jc, have now decided for another. mostly under compulsion from parents!

is it wise to make rjc or hwa chong the choice, just because they are ranked top-notch.

to me, the choice must be realistc, travelling distance must be acceptable, and more importantly, the school culture must fit in.

school is not just about uniforms and accolades, but the friends that leave footprints and memories in the primce days, that will last long like the wine, with an aftertaste on the lips.

maybe in times like that, joy will realise how 'easy-going' her parents are and should be thankful that we respect her decision, though she's not fully mature in thinking yet.

poor dunia!

when i learnt that dunia who is due to enter p1, is still searching for school, i felt sorry for her.

she's such a darling girl and alert with the surrounding.

most schools have no more vacancies. some have reached their quotas for foreign kids.

tmrw, i am going with dunia's mom to check out on bedok green and fengshan primary, hoping that a vacancy can be located.

from this incident, i reminded my 2 girls how fortunate they are to have a place of belonging every morn. so, i don't expect any complaints from them about homework and extra classes.

imagine how pathetic it would be to keep a child at home, simply because she has no privilege as a foreign kid.

indeed, only when one is deprived of the necessities, will one appreciate the simplicities of life.

i learnt from the mother that even for her p6 boy, she has to battle thru so much with another pri sch to allow her son a place at p5 last yr. the original intention was to let him start at p4, citing that he wasn't up to standard based on the diagnostic test that he took. a letter of undertaking was also given to hte school to ensure that the boy would do well.

guess what, in the end, the boy ended up 3rd in class last yr, got a gold in fitness and some awards in soccer activities.

how much a mother goes thru with her kids, only the women will understand. is this a overstatement?

Monday, January 10, 2011

'o' level release - 10 jan 2011

i was at joy's sch awaiting the 'o' level results.

suddenly, her phone call came,"mommy, i can't receive my results today cos' my hair is colored!"

haha, that's it! ahs is well-known to hv strict discipline; the kids weren't spared graciously despite the fact that the kids were just there to collect their results slip.

it was an amusing sight when i got out of the hall locating her presence, and seeing many boys and girls holding a can of black hair spray to cover up their 'hair crimes'.

she and her bestie qy were hiding somewhere too to solve the problem.

well, asked how i felt about the whole thing?

i shared faith's view that joy has a colourful school life. unlike our times, just nerdy school work and brief friendly outings. maybe, i gave her a tad too much liberty after her 'o' level to experience different things in life.

but, i have made up my mind to have a talk with her about how her hair should be restored to 'black colour' (not even dark brown, as suggested by her), the moment she steps into jc.

in the evening, the thot was communicated to her. her first response,"can i leave some strands here and there? i'm sure the teachers cannot see it!"

"no distractions, joy, when it comes to study! just rbr that you have tried it, and it's never too late to get into all these beauty trials...wait till you are out of uniform school life!"

then, she revealed that even in ahs, she was always 'battling' with the discipline master and some teachers who went round 'locating' girls with short skirts and 'slipping fringe'....悲哀哟,我这个女儿真是爱美不要命!

in any case, i wish joy and her 2 friends success in trying out for the dance audition in vjc this thur.

lastly, joy got all As and did well enough to try out for a place in vjc. hoping no mishap. GOD bless...amen.

p/s : omg, the daddy would be many hundreds poorer after joy's 'o' level release...that thrilled the girl to the core in winning the 'mean' deal against the dad, but to the daddy, it's 破财啦!
imagine the deal - A1 $100 vs A2 $10, B3 -$10, B4 -$100...see the insidious scheme behind the daddy? hooray joy, you triumped over him.....give me a five!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

tutoring woes

A friend recommended a potential stdt to me for my tutoring.

this girl went thru a diagnostic test in a tuition centre and was rejected apparently, based on standards falling behind the peers.

she asked if i would be keen to pick up the stdt.

well, my answer was nay.

i told her,"i do feel sorry for kids who are slow learners. but there's no miracle in acquiring knowledge. a lot have to be worked thru with such a stdt..and the home environment support is the most basic fundamentals!"

weekly class is definitely not enough for stdts who are weak in their understanding.

i m generally careful with picking stdts, but once i start the first lesson, it's full commitment all the way.....no turning back.

a bowl of laksa

at the food court, 20/12/2010.

before claire could tuck into the yummy bowl of laksa, she came running to me in fear,"mom, my tooth has dropped?"

"where?" i asked.

"umm...the bowl of laksa!" she looked at me apologetically.

so, guess what happened to the bowl of laksa?

well, many would hv guessed that i had bothered to succeed in my 'treasure hunt' before continuing to enjoy the laksa. wrong answer.

i ate strands of noodles, gingerly and slowly, then drank a few mouthful of soup. still, at the end of it, no tooth was in sight.

with a last scoop of the gravy with my spoon, jillian shrieked,"it's there, aunty verlyn. i saw it!"

"really?" i queried. must be the failing eyesight, haha.

well, at the end of it, the lesson learnt was - mother's love is noble. c'mon, who else would hv the audacity to finish the bowl of laksa like i did? bet you, no one would.

and of coz, claire got her $2 reward from her tooth fairy after 2 days....guess, the tooth was in fairly good condition which pleased the tooth fairy.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

this is joy, verlyn's beautiful lovely and kind daughter. i love my mama alotttt and i like to kiss her toes. :D