i'm at a loss of how to start unpacking the unwanted old stuff to make way for new storage space.
my place has been short of storage all these years. it's my wish to have hidden storage shelves and cabinets to keep the bulky items away from sight.
i've been telling claire,"u need to give away more clothes, books and toys to make the place look neat!" she's agreeable. afterall, she's looking fwd to go on a purchase spree in taiwan come dec.
i need to call in a contractor to do sth....including the spoilt parquet flooring and wall furnishing. it will be a lot to handle....i can already imagine the dust in the air causing my organs to itch.....
ah sue was at my place last sat and commented that my dressing table is over-loaded with things. u see, the problem is, when one gets used to certain things, it actually becomes acceptable.
aye, if only we have lived like a minimalist, our place would be less cluttered. is that the right word to use?
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
joy is busking today!
as part of her sch cca, joy and few other friends would be busking at tampines this afternoon! isn't it cool?
she has been practising really hard in school these few weeks. her basic techniques have really improved. well, hard work does pay off.
i was just remarking to joy last night,"within these 3 yrs, u have made a drastic change. from a raw shy self, u now enjoy public performance so much and is constantly upgrading yourself in dance techniques and moves!"
claire added,"ya lor, joy, only 1095 days!"
haha, did her comment add any value to mine? well, that's claire in her detached self.
i'm not sure if i will be able to drop by the east mall to watch her today. timing seems to clash with sending claire off to school for her cca chinese dance! being a mom to 2 girls is really no easy feat, sometimes u dunno how to split your time between the 2.
on the whole, however, claire got more of my time in terms of togetherness while joy got more of my spiritual support, haha. how's that?
this sat, joy will hv another public performance. she and another dance friend had taken the trouble to buy and lug 3 chairs each from ikea last wkend, only to call for a cab to get home after that. these 6 chairs are for their perfce this sat. she's all bz this week....and it's the last week of school!
she has been practising really hard in school these few weeks. her basic techniques have really improved. well, hard work does pay off.
i was just remarking to joy last night,"within these 3 yrs, u have made a drastic change. from a raw shy self, u now enjoy public performance so much and is constantly upgrading yourself in dance techniques and moves!"
claire added,"ya lor, joy, only 1095 days!"
haha, did her comment add any value to mine? well, that's claire in her detached self.
i'm not sure if i will be able to drop by the east mall to watch her today. timing seems to clash with sending claire off to school for her cca chinese dance! being a mom to 2 girls is really no easy feat, sometimes u dunno how to split your time between the 2.
on the whole, however, claire got more of my time in terms of togetherness while joy got more of my spiritual support, haha. how's that?
this sat, joy will hv another public performance. she and another dance friend had taken the trouble to buy and lug 3 chairs each from ikea last wkend, only to call for a cab to get home after that. these 6 chairs are for their perfce this sat. she's all bz this week....and it's the last week of school!
journal saga
claire had a sleepover with 2 frds at my place on 18th nov, the last day of sch.
i requested that she writes a journal about her sleepover experience, to store as everlasting memory.
her first piece was delivered last nite. i rejected it. reason being, it was totally disorganised and was mainly written in conversation style, which i found it redundant.
today, i requested for her 2nd submission. she started off fine but again, reverted to her old style of using unnecessary conversations.
with my headache, i was really losing my patience. my voice a lil raised when i told her the right thing to do, tantamount to telling her that she should re-do the piece again.
'devastated', she broke down and cried, unable to face with my rejection of her work. i lost my cool and started hitting her back with a small pillow. i hate it whenever the kids use crying as the weapon.
my anger came from her not paying attention to what i had said and consequently, repeating same mistakes. her frustration stemmed from not understanding what had gone wrong with her journal writing.
so, it was no communication between us for half and hour. when the heat simmered, she spoke,"i hv no idea how u want me to write it!"
anyway, i told her to sit beside me and bit by bit, we recounted the events, with special emphasis on doing away with redundancies of sentences and conversation speeches.
twds the end, she thanked me for taking the time to do it with her. i responded,"claire, i won't mind we sit through stuff like that coz u can better understand the expectation of a good journal! what i was angry about was your inattentive attitude when pple give u advice on the writing...."
seriously, no one is born a good writer. but, i told her that it's impt to develop her own writing style. shunning writing is definitely not the way to do it. submitting a piece of disorganised work only reflects her inattentive attitude.
hopefully, she will understand my intention and take writing more seriously.
i requested that she writes a journal about her sleepover experience, to store as everlasting memory.
her first piece was delivered last nite. i rejected it. reason being, it was totally disorganised and was mainly written in conversation style, which i found it redundant.
today, i requested for her 2nd submission. she started off fine but again, reverted to her old style of using unnecessary conversations.
with my headache, i was really losing my patience. my voice a lil raised when i told her the right thing to do, tantamount to telling her that she should re-do the piece again.
'devastated', she broke down and cried, unable to face with my rejection of her work. i lost my cool and started hitting her back with a small pillow. i hate it whenever the kids use crying as the weapon.
my anger came from her not paying attention to what i had said and consequently, repeating same mistakes. her frustration stemmed from not understanding what had gone wrong with her journal writing.
so, it was no communication between us for half and hour. when the heat simmered, she spoke,"i hv no idea how u want me to write it!"
anyway, i told her to sit beside me and bit by bit, we recounted the events, with special emphasis on doing away with redundancies of sentences and conversation speeches.
twds the end, she thanked me for taking the time to do it with her. i responded,"claire, i won't mind we sit through stuff like that coz u can better understand the expectation of a good journal! what i was angry about was your inattentive attitude when pple give u advice on the writing...."
seriously, no one is born a good writer. but, i told her that it's impt to develop her own writing style. shunning writing is definitely not the way to do it. submitting a piece of disorganised work only reflects her inattentive attitude.
hopefully, she will understand my intention and take writing more seriously.
late for class!
this morn, i woke up feeling really lethargic. wow, 10 plus am.
checking my hp msgs, i was surprised to read,"v, are u coming at 10am?"
omg, i totally let the class timing slip my mind and did not prepare for the lesson.
or am i getting old and absent-minded? well, i decided none of these was true. i was just plain tired from the monthly cycle and have been suffering from bad headache these few days.
i quickly got ready and arranged for the class to be 11.30 am.
thk gdness, it is holiday time. everyone is relaxed and has more time to spare for such 'abnormality'!
so, i survived the lesson and to make up for my 'forgetfulness', i gave the stdt an extra half an hour of teaching.
i love her, anyway.
checking my hp msgs, i was surprised to read,"v, are u coming at 10am?"
omg, i totally let the class timing slip my mind and did not prepare for the lesson.
or am i getting old and absent-minded? well, i decided none of these was true. i was just plain tired from the monthly cycle and have been suffering from bad headache these few days.
i quickly got ready and arranged for the class to be 11.30 am.
thk gdness, it is holiday time. everyone is relaxed and has more time to spare for such 'abnormality'!
so, i survived the lesson and to make up for my 'forgetfulness', i gave the stdt an extra half an hour of teaching.
i love her, anyway.
Monday, November 21, 2011
an observation
i was out with dad and mom plus a bunch of boisterous kids (claire included).
at the food court, dad was asking one granddaughter for her doufu dish. she was really reluctant to share and responded,"huh!" i was indeed shocked with her reaction.
finally, it was just one piece spared to gonggong after much cajoling.
actually, eating habit is very personal. some kids are just not keen to share their food with the others.
however, with my kids, they hv been trained from young to share their food. it might be a small matter but the meaning of it is far-fetched. i dread having kids who refuse to share, only to pass on unfinished food to their parents for consumption. this is a taboo in my family....coz' i always tell them, "even with the last piece on my plate, i am able to offer u!"
i realise many values need to be taught and reinforced. eating leftovers, no thanks! food, when served hot, has to be shared right from the start. i knw a lot of parents wouldn't mind picking up the scraps of the kids' plates, but not for me! it's a way to tell kids that 'you dun save the remains for the pple u love, but u give the best portion of sharing when the food is still piping hot!"
playing games is another interesting way of assessing a kid. the kiasu syndrome will be exhibited in an unconscious way.....some kids are so competitive that it really takes away the joy of playing with them!
like what popo always said,"one type of grain feeds the whole population lah!" so, accepting pple to be different in their own ways is also a good value. Ah Q spirit!
at the food court, dad was asking one granddaughter for her doufu dish. she was really reluctant to share and responded,"huh!" i was indeed shocked with her reaction.
finally, it was just one piece spared to gonggong after much cajoling.
actually, eating habit is very personal. some kids are just not keen to share their food with the others.
however, with my kids, they hv been trained from young to share their food. it might be a small matter but the meaning of it is far-fetched. i dread having kids who refuse to share, only to pass on unfinished food to their parents for consumption. this is a taboo in my family....coz' i always tell them, "even with the last piece on my plate, i am able to offer u!"
i realise many values need to be taught and reinforced. eating leftovers, no thanks! food, when served hot, has to be shared right from the start. i knw a lot of parents wouldn't mind picking up the scraps of the kids' plates, but not for me! it's a way to tell kids that 'you dun save the remains for the pple u love, but u give the best portion of sharing when the food is still piping hot!"
playing games is another interesting way of assessing a kid. the kiasu syndrome will be exhibited in an unconscious way.....some kids are so competitive that it really takes away the joy of playing with them!
like what popo always said,"one type of grain feeds the whole population lah!" so, accepting pple to be different in their own ways is also a good value. Ah Q spirit!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
jumbo sale
claire, with her classmates, conducted a jumbo sale in school today. their team reaped over sgd100 and it was a great success, having attracted great level of response of players. it must have been the nicely wrapped up colourful toys contributed by the girls in the group.
upon hopping in the car, she gaily reported to me that she accidentally found a sgd6 coupon on the floor. so, she and her besty, j picked it up and split between them, for more games galore!
she has won some tokens from other games and also purchased 1 or 2 toys at a mere
sgd1.
the sale experience was obviously an interesting learning experience for her. i hope she will continue to like such organised activity and will appreciate in a group!
after exams, all kids have been enjoying themselves so much without homework and much teaching in school. well, hopefully claire will prep up her energy in a week or so, and start her running engine for p6 syllabus soon.
i'm still not inclined to have her attend tuition classes. self-driven effort is always the best effort, i maintain my stand!
upon hopping in the car, she gaily reported to me that she accidentally found a sgd6 coupon on the floor. so, she and her besty, j picked it up and split between them, for more games galore!
she has won some tokens from other games and also purchased 1 or 2 toys at a mere
sgd1.
the sale experience was obviously an interesting learning experience for her. i hope she will continue to like such organised activity and will appreciate in a group!
after exams, all kids have been enjoying themselves so much without homework and much teaching in school. well, hopefully claire will prep up her energy in a week or so, and start her running engine for p6 syllabus soon.
i'm still not inclined to have her attend tuition classes. self-driven effort is always the best effort, i maintain my stand!
a fright!
i was half-way tutoring M this morning, when i felt something 'brushing' agst my feet.
in my heart, i was wondering what was wrong with M, with her feet constantly knocking into mine. thank goodness, it was a female student. it would have been embarassing for both parties, if it were a male student!
then, i felt sth cold....like a lick rather than a knock. yes, it felt more like a tongue...gross!
out of curiosity, i took a peep under the table. i nearly fainted....
guess what? it was M's favourite puppy, sandy licking my feet!
every one knows how frightful i am of dogs, or for that matter, all animals. my immediate responses were to yelp and lift my legs to rest on the arm of the chair, telling M to quickly 'invite' the dog back to the kennel!
when M carried the poor dog from the floor, both of us couldn't help but let out a loud laughter. i must hv looked a most embarassing tutor. i even hv to apologise to her for being so 'nasty' and 'unfriendly' to her pet, coz' i'm just afraid of dogs!
of coz, she didn't mind. having stuck through all thicks and thins with me for 5 years! she must have just found me comical and inexplicable to dislike dogs!
in fact, one little 7-year old girl asked me,"ms verlyn, why are u afraid of dogs?"
"well, that's a tough question. i just dun like anything furry or walk on 4 legs!" haha, that explained why indians with furry chest freaked me out! of coz, babies crawling on 4 limbs are not included in the 4-legged creature category!
haha, is that even a fine excuse? in fact, my 3 other sisters share the same symptoms as me, 对狗有恐慌症! thks to my mom who never taught us to like animals from young, hehe! or maybe, i was hotly 'pursued' by a mad dog before when i was young...that dated many many years ago...
once upon a time,.....
in my heart, i was wondering what was wrong with M, with her feet constantly knocking into mine. thank goodness, it was a female student. it would have been embarassing for both parties, if it were a male student!
then, i felt sth cold....like a lick rather than a knock. yes, it felt more like a tongue...gross!
out of curiosity, i took a peep under the table. i nearly fainted....
guess what? it was M's favourite puppy, sandy licking my feet!
every one knows how frightful i am of dogs, or for that matter, all animals. my immediate responses were to yelp and lift my legs to rest on the arm of the chair, telling M to quickly 'invite' the dog back to the kennel!
when M carried the poor dog from the floor, both of us couldn't help but let out a loud laughter. i must hv looked a most embarassing tutor. i even hv to apologise to her for being so 'nasty' and 'unfriendly' to her pet, coz' i'm just afraid of dogs!
of coz, she didn't mind. having stuck through all thicks and thins with me for 5 years! she must have just found me comical and inexplicable to dislike dogs!
in fact, one little 7-year old girl asked me,"ms verlyn, why are u afraid of dogs?"
"well, that's a tough question. i just dun like anything furry or walk on 4 legs!" haha, that explained why indians with furry chest freaked me out! of coz, babies crawling on 4 limbs are not included in the 4-legged creature category!
haha, is that even a fine excuse? in fact, my 3 other sisters share the same symptoms as me, 对狗有恐慌症! thks to my mom who never taught us to like animals from young, hehe! or maybe, i was hotly 'pursued' by a mad dog before when i was young...that dated many many years ago...
once upon a time,.....
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
joy's new product launch
hey, visit joy's blogshop at 'www.loadedwardrobe.blogshop.com'!
she's just launched a new line of 'topshop inspired' products at more affordable prices!
the products are selling well and she's happy collating her orders!
to her, it's not so much pricing in a thick margin but rather, the satisfaction of seeing pple attracted to her product range. of coz, she enjoys stocking her own wardrobe too!
some 2 wks ago, she was contemplating to spend some money to 'model' her own clothes by taking pics in a studio.
but ysterday, she confessed,"i think there's no need already lah! thks to jacky who asked me to publicise to the wide hip hop group of members, i really have response coming in!"
well, things are progressing well for her. her soft rebonding hair is done, her peformance shows are lining up, she's enjoying her dance and friends.....except a little reminder that she should start 'pulling up her socks' or maybe 'her pantyhose' to work on her subjects.....her results are a far cry from the expected uni-level admission criteria....hope she will settle down with the 'distractions' of life and hv a recreation-work life balance, yo!
she's just launched a new line of 'topshop inspired' products at more affordable prices!
the products are selling well and she's happy collating her orders!
to her, it's not so much pricing in a thick margin but rather, the satisfaction of seeing pple attracted to her product range. of coz, she enjoys stocking her own wardrobe too!
some 2 wks ago, she was contemplating to spend some money to 'model' her own clothes by taking pics in a studio.
but ysterday, she confessed,"i think there's no need already lah! thks to jacky who asked me to publicise to the wide hip hop group of members, i really have response coming in!"
well, things are progressing well for her. her soft rebonding hair is done, her peformance shows are lining up, she's enjoying her dance and friends.....except a little reminder that she should start 'pulling up her socks' or maybe 'her pantyhose' to work on her subjects.....her results are a far cry from the expected uni-level admission criteria....hope she will settle down with the 'distractions' of life and hv a recreation-work life balance, yo!
tuitions for claire?
well, claire asked (yes, on her own accord) if she should go for tuition/ psle prep classes for english and science. yup, only 2 subjects she's enquiring about.
well, i hv no objection. question is where?
i reckon that next yr will be a critical yr for her. her psle, syf chinese dance training plus her own pte hip hop concert in aug. and now, the superstar training. throw in 2 tuition classes, she will be swarmed!
privately, i'm hoping that she can manage a good psle results without tuition at all! frankly, having a good teacher in the school and diligently doing ur own practice at home, hold the key!
claire has always been weaker in spelling words. i used to tease her saying she's 'mildly dyslexic'.....no offense lah! then, i learn from hubby that he was like that too, not being able to make out words structure and spelling words properly! so, the truth is out lah! that's why, i'm more 'forgiving' towards claire these days, knowing that the 'shortfall' traits might hv been inherited. haha, talk about genetics!
i hv been urging claire to start her daily spelling list....afterall, your own effort to learn spelling beats going for tuition classes, right? maybe i'm a self-driven learner and is not for the idea of spending money for kids to bump around for extra classes!
as for sci, i believe claire has the thinking skills but is limited by the phrasing of the answers. but, which kid is not? we just need to give them time and encourage them to use the right answering techniques!
i told her the other day,"claire, u might hv to give nxt yr hip hop concert in aug a miss!"
"but why, mom? i can do 2 or 3 items only!" she retorted.
"my problem is with the time-consuming rehearsals in jurong, so far and waste so much time!" i explained.
in the end, we agreed that she must show me the ability to manage her time well before she can go for the YNDA concert! haha, the kids told me to guess the meaning of YNDA and i thot it was some '...dance association' thingie, but it turned out to be 'You Never Dance Alone'!
well, i hv no objection. question is where?
i reckon that next yr will be a critical yr for her. her psle, syf chinese dance training plus her own pte hip hop concert in aug. and now, the superstar training. throw in 2 tuition classes, she will be swarmed!
privately, i'm hoping that she can manage a good psle results without tuition at all! frankly, having a good teacher in the school and diligently doing ur own practice at home, hold the key!
claire has always been weaker in spelling words. i used to tease her saying she's 'mildly dyslexic'.....no offense lah! then, i learn from hubby that he was like that too, not being able to make out words structure and spelling words properly! so, the truth is out lah! that's why, i'm more 'forgiving' towards claire these days, knowing that the 'shortfall' traits might hv been inherited. haha, talk about genetics!
i hv been urging claire to start her daily spelling list....afterall, your own effort to learn spelling beats going for tuition classes, right? maybe i'm a self-driven learner and is not for the idea of spending money for kids to bump around for extra classes!
as for sci, i believe claire has the thinking skills but is limited by the phrasing of the answers. but, which kid is not? we just need to give them time and encourage them to use the right answering techniques!
i told her the other day,"claire, u might hv to give nxt yr hip hop concert in aug a miss!"
"but why, mom? i can do 2 or 3 items only!" she retorted.
"my problem is with the time-consuming rehearsals in jurong, so far and waste so much time!" i explained.
in the end, we agreed that she must show me the ability to manage her time well before she can go for the YNDA concert! haha, the kids told me to guess the meaning of YNDA and i thot it was some '...dance association' thingie, but it turned out to be 'You Never Dance Alone'!
claire's been selected!
yesterday, i picked up claire after her dance practice. this is not the same chinese dance group, it's another dance practice that emerged from the recent sports carnival house dance!
the intention is to downsize 40 stdts to half the number, to perform on stage on SHINE AWARD day!
amongst the 40 stdts, the teacher has selected 8 stdts or so to come under the 'SUPERSTAR' training! yup, like what hubby said, the 'SUPERSTAR' brand name is a lame name that got kids 'scrambling' to be part of the team.
the sch used to hv this 'superstar' thingie that requires kids to be auditioned, trained and selected for competitions and performance representing the school. but claire was not at all keen on such 'exposure' from young, though she enjoys her chinese dance training and public shows.
so, claire was 'honoured' to be the only one amongst p5 kids to be selected for training. in fact, she said,"mommy, what's yours is yours!" in the same tone as ther daddy, she felt that 'nothing can escape your hands if it's fated to be yours' and 'there's no need to try too hard if it's not destined to be yours!'
in other words, she's a firm believer of 随缘！
well, to me, it's another day of staying back in school! she casually commented,'i must learn to work hard so that my results will not suffer!"
i corrected,"claire, it's working smart, not just hard!"
all these activities are taking too much time but if it helps to groom a kid and develop confidence, as a result, i reckon it's still worth it!
i always stress that, i would rather have a kid who's an all-rounder, than a plain nerdy kid who comes in 1st each yr! life is made up of a bed of multi experiences and youth is the best time that you can give to acquire life skills!
the intention is to downsize 40 stdts to half the number, to perform on stage on SHINE AWARD day!
amongst the 40 stdts, the teacher has selected 8 stdts or so to come under the 'SUPERSTAR' training! yup, like what hubby said, the 'SUPERSTAR' brand name is a lame name that got kids 'scrambling' to be part of the team.
the sch used to hv this 'superstar' thingie that requires kids to be auditioned, trained and selected for competitions and performance representing the school. but claire was not at all keen on such 'exposure' from young, though she enjoys her chinese dance training and public shows.
so, claire was 'honoured' to be the only one amongst p5 kids to be selected for training. in fact, she said,"mommy, what's yours is yours!" in the same tone as ther daddy, she felt that 'nothing can escape your hands if it's fated to be yours' and 'there's no need to try too hard if it's not destined to be yours!'
in other words, she's a firm believer of 随缘！
well, to me, it's another day of staying back in school! she casually commented,'i must learn to work hard so that my results will not suffer!"
i corrected,"claire, it's working smart, not just hard!"
all these activities are taking too much time but if it helps to groom a kid and develop confidence, as a result, i reckon it's still worth it!
i always stress that, i would rather have a kid who's an all-rounder, than a plain nerdy kid who comes in 1st each yr! life is made up of a bed of multi experiences and youth is the best time that you can give to acquire life skills!
Friday, November 4, 2011
dream unburied - for jean
i hv been following this writer's blog journal every now and then. i hope jean will get to read this and continue to be inspired in her journey of faith....towards a
3rd career...
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Have you ever had a dream goal you wanted but thought the chance to reach it has gone?
Perhaps you are thinking, that by now, you would be too old, too slow and too busy to pursue the dream. You may have regrets that you had not spend your youthful days in its pursuit, or guilt that you have let it get away. You may question if you have the financial means, the social support and the inner-strength to do it now. I have one long-buried dream, which I am resurrecting.
In September 1992, I was admitted into the Honours class in Psychology. It was a gorgeous year of learning for me. I spent time reading research articles, debating research methodologies, questioning research results and critiquing one another’s ideas. I was part of three research teams- Family Relations, Adoption and Couple Abuse. It was also a year where the Honours class asked ourselves, “which graduate school are we going to?” There was no doubt that we were being prepared for further research work, and to become future psychology professors, or clinical psychologists.
By February 1993, I was offered graduate places in 5 universities, among which was Teachers’ College, Columbia University. It was an exciting time to choose where I would go next. I was young, bright and lavishing in the great possibilities of youthful scholastic adventures.
I rejected Columbia University because I was afraid to move to New York. In my youthfulness, I let irrational fear get in my way.
I accepted a scholarship and a fellowship from my alma mater to do my Masters. I spent the months of September 1993 to July 1994 in scholarly heaven. I was “paid” to study – read, question, research, discuss and write. I was also teaching undergraduates “Introduction to Psychology”.
One day in early 1994, I got a call to “come home” from my father. I told my research supervisor that I had an opportunity and responsibility to return to Singapore, to set up early childhood education centres. I would continue with my research while I worked and got married. Being the super-achiever that I was, it was not beyond my capabilities to design curriculum, train teachers, get married, and have two sons by 1997. I even had the time to conduct cross-cultural research on mother’s beliefs about education in both Vancouver and Singapore. And write a paper on “Teaching Thinking to Pre-schoolers” for the 7th International Thinking Conference.
Till the retrenchment happened, my third child was born, and my marriage collapsed, all within the last months of 1999.
One of the casualty of my divorce was my studies. I gave it up, in order to be single mother to three young ones, and to develop a new career in Raffles Institution. At that time, with a pinch of salt, I said to myself, “I am putting aside the MA to focus on being a MAMA.”
Nevertheless, the researcher in me remained curious. Even as I counseled and coached adolescents, I observed the interventions, conversations and progress – resulting in a presentation at the 2002 International Congress of Applied Psychology. When I worked with business leaders, I tested assumptions on great leadership. I kept my observations in my journals and I discussed ways to improvement interventions.
Furthermore, writing 22 books helped satisfy the writer in me, while the interviews for “Break to Dawn” was based on qualitative research methods.
You can take the researcher out of the school, but you cannot take the researcher out of me.
And now, almost 20 years after I first started my post-graduate education, after raising 3 children, after 22 books, and countless lessons taught to leaders, I am standing on the edge of a possible return to school.
My children find it hilarious that “mom wants to go to school again” when they cannot wait to end school. My husband thinks I would be a brilliant professor.
It is never too late to unbury a dream. If you believe it is aligned to your life purpose and will make a difference, go take it out. A dear friend asked me, “what would you regret if you do not do it?”
I know it is not too late, but timely. I may not be 23, but I have a wealth of wisdom gained over the last 18 years. I have learnt about life the hard way, I have picked myself up from huge falls, I have become more sensitive and empathetic to the setbacks of leaders. I am now more confident of myself, and more passionate about what I stand for.
I am ready to be a formal scholar again (as opposed to a closet one). For the last three years, I have pondered about this dream goal, questioning if my team is ready to step up and if I am ready for the challenge. Finally, I am going beyond “thinking” – I am taking action. I am starting the process of applying to graduate schools again. This time, not as a 22-year-old but a 41-year-old.
When I was 23 and teaching Introduction to Psychology, I had a student who was 62. She taught me that it was never too late to go back to school, that being a matured student meant she came with wisdom not found in the textbooks, and I delighted in her questions and insights.
She unburied her dream at 62, what about you?
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isnt the writer one who provides such good motivation about life? failures did not strike her off the ground; instead, she rebounded and metaphored herself to a stronger being.....and continues to search for new meanings in life! that's the spirit.
3rd career...
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Have you ever had a dream goal you wanted but thought the chance to reach it has gone?
Perhaps you are thinking, that by now, you would be too old, too slow and too busy to pursue the dream. You may have regrets that you had not spend your youthful days in its pursuit, or guilt that you have let it get away. You may question if you have the financial means, the social support and the inner-strength to do it now. I have one long-buried dream, which I am resurrecting.
In September 1992, I was admitted into the Honours class in Psychology. It was a gorgeous year of learning for me. I spent time reading research articles, debating research methodologies, questioning research results and critiquing one another’s ideas. I was part of three research teams- Family Relations, Adoption and Couple Abuse. It was also a year where the Honours class asked ourselves, “which graduate school are we going to?” There was no doubt that we were being prepared for further research work, and to become future psychology professors, or clinical psychologists.
By February 1993, I was offered graduate places in 5 universities, among which was Teachers’ College, Columbia University. It was an exciting time to choose where I would go next. I was young, bright and lavishing in the great possibilities of youthful scholastic adventures.
I rejected Columbia University because I was afraid to move to New York. In my youthfulness, I let irrational fear get in my way.
I accepted a scholarship and a fellowship from my alma mater to do my Masters. I spent the months of September 1993 to July 1994 in scholarly heaven. I was “paid” to study – read, question, research, discuss and write. I was also teaching undergraduates “Introduction to Psychology”.
One day in early 1994, I got a call to “come home” from my father. I told my research supervisor that I had an opportunity and responsibility to return to Singapore, to set up early childhood education centres. I would continue with my research while I worked and got married. Being the super-achiever that I was, it was not beyond my capabilities to design curriculum, train teachers, get married, and have two sons by 1997. I even had the time to conduct cross-cultural research on mother’s beliefs about education in both Vancouver and Singapore. And write a paper on “Teaching Thinking to Pre-schoolers” for the 7th International Thinking Conference.
Till the retrenchment happened, my third child was born, and my marriage collapsed, all within the last months of 1999.
One of the casualty of my divorce was my studies. I gave it up, in order to be single mother to three young ones, and to develop a new career in Raffles Institution. At that time, with a pinch of salt, I said to myself, “I am putting aside the MA to focus on being a MAMA.”
Nevertheless, the researcher in me remained curious. Even as I counseled and coached adolescents, I observed the interventions, conversations and progress – resulting in a presentation at the 2002 International Congress of Applied Psychology. When I worked with business leaders, I tested assumptions on great leadership. I kept my observations in my journals and I discussed ways to improvement interventions.
Furthermore, writing 22 books helped satisfy the writer in me, while the interviews for “Break to Dawn” was based on qualitative research methods.
You can take the researcher out of the school, but you cannot take the researcher out of me.
And now, almost 20 years after I first started my post-graduate education, after raising 3 children, after 22 books, and countless lessons taught to leaders, I am standing on the edge of a possible return to school.
My children find it hilarious that “mom wants to go to school again” when they cannot wait to end school. My husband thinks I would be a brilliant professor.
It is never too late to unbury a dream. If you believe it is aligned to your life purpose and will make a difference, go take it out. A dear friend asked me, “what would you regret if you do not do it?”
I know it is not too late, but timely. I may not be 23, but I have a wealth of wisdom gained over the last 18 years. I have learnt about life the hard way, I have picked myself up from huge falls, I have become more sensitive and empathetic to the setbacks of leaders. I am now more confident of myself, and more passionate about what I stand for.
I am ready to be a formal scholar again (as opposed to a closet one). For the last three years, I have pondered about this dream goal, questioning if my team is ready to step up and if I am ready for the challenge. Finally, I am going beyond “thinking” – I am taking action. I am starting the process of applying to graduate schools again. This time, not as a 22-year-old but a 41-year-old.
When I was 23 and teaching Introduction to Psychology, I had a student who was 62. She taught me that it was never too late to go back to school, that being a matured student meant she came with wisdom not found in the textbooks, and I delighted in her questions and insights.
She unburied her dream at 62, what about you?
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isnt the writer one who provides such good motivation about life? failures did not strike her off the ground; instead, she rebounded and metaphored herself to a stronger being.....and continues to search for new meanings in life! that's the spirit.
being recognised!
just some weeks ago, claire was done with her green house dance item on sports carnival day!
now, the teacher is keen to select only 5 from each house group to put up a performance on SHINE award day...during the rehearsals, she's been constantly praised for her swift movement, particularly in 'shuffling'.....haha, for those who hear this term for the first time, don't fret! i'm in the same shoes too!
apparently, she was the only one who knew how to do it, having learnt it from her pte hip hop class!
ystday, the teacher learnt from another stdt that claire takes up hip hop class. he enquired the venue of her learning and granted further acknowledgement about her steps! claire was obviously thrilled, having received so much attention from the teacher-in-charge!
2 girls even came to befriend her, one saying that she looks cute and another one complimented that she's got sweet voice. haha, my dear princess must have her head swelling so big and continues to stay afloat in the air.....
being recognised is a good form of motivation, esp with kids. maybe, adults too!
i continue to encourage claire to put forth her best, at the same time, reminding her that the final outcome of selection isn't really that impt! just enjoy the process and 不要把得失看得太重！
this whole dance experience is lifting her spirit and i hope she will find more joy in this activity and continue to EXCEL.....and willing to train her cousins on some dance steps, or perform in front of the aunties!
now, the teacher is keen to select only 5 from each house group to put up a performance on SHINE award day...during the rehearsals, she's been constantly praised for her swift movement, particularly in 'shuffling'.....haha, for those who hear this term for the first time, don't fret! i'm in the same shoes too!
apparently, she was the only one who knew how to do it, having learnt it from her pte hip hop class!
ystday, the teacher learnt from another stdt that claire takes up hip hop class. he enquired the venue of her learning and granted further acknowledgement about her steps! claire was obviously thrilled, having received so much attention from the teacher-in-charge!
2 girls even came to befriend her, one saying that she looks cute and another one complimented that she's got sweet voice. haha, my dear princess must have her head swelling so big and continues to stay afloat in the air.....
being recognised is a good form of motivation, esp with kids. maybe, adults too!
i continue to encourage claire to put forth her best, at the same time, reminding her that the final outcome of selection isn't really that impt! just enjoy the process and 不要把得失看得太重！
this whole dance experience is lifting her spirit and i hope she will find more joy in this activity and continue to EXCEL.....and willing to train her cousins on some dance steps, or perform in front of the aunties!
Teen, 14, had 4 abortions
read this article and you will realise how important it is to know the activities that your young daughters are engaged in out there....
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A giggly schoolgirl of only 14, who should be hanging out with peers doing carefree stuff like shopping, sleepovers and makeovers—should NOT have to bear the ordeal of giving birth to a stillborn. But this was exactly what happened to a 14-year-old girl in Malaysia. Believe it or not, it was not her first experience, at this tender age.
4 abortions at 14...
The teenage girl, who still lives with her parents in a shophouse at Pulau Meranti, admitted to having not one, but four abortions. Which makes you wonder, where she went to get those complicated procedures done. How did she get the money? What were her “extra-curricular activities” like?
Her parents found her looking pale and weak one evening. Then they were astonished and alarmed to find their child bleeding profusely. They actually informed a close relative who then lodged a police report.
Upon arrival and inspection, the police found a stillborn baby in a yellow plastic bag, stashed away in the girl’s bedroom. After some questioning, the girl admitted to giving birth to the baby and then to have had four previous pregnancies prior to this one.
How could the parents not have noticed their little girl getting pregnant, not once, but four times? When did she start having sex to have had four abortions already?
Supt. Imran Abdul Rahman, Sepang OCPD, confirmed that police are investigating this case.
Abortion laws....
Like every other country, Singapore has laid down some ground rules too, when it comes to abortion. Here, it is legal to have an abortion on socio-medical grounds. The law states that there is no defined age limit and no legal requirement for parental consent for minors to get the abortion procedure done. However, abortion is prohibited after 24 weeks (6 months) of pregnancy, unless the mother’s life is in danger.
The Singapore Abortion Act also states that girls under 16 years of age have to go through a mandatory counselling session at the Health Promotion Board Counselling Centre. After the session, they will be issued a Certificate of Attendance (COA) – without the cert, abortion will not be legally permissible. A 48-hour waiting period after counselling is mandatory before the procedure can be carried out. Just so that reflection can be done—the worst thing is to regret after having a life taken out of you. There is no turning the clock back.
How well do you know your child?
We parents think that we know all there is to know about our children. What could our kids be hiding from us? Apparently, judging from the case above, the teen concealed a baby bump – and quite successfully for four times.
Talk to your kids about sex; educate them. It is better for them to know than to live in the dark. Or they might be driven to do some exploration of their own due to a healthy curiosity about sex—after all, it is a natural force of nature, it is innate.
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no one knows how our girls will turn out to be. but certainly, educating their moral values from young is important. teaching them to protect their sacred bodies is crucial.
through many stories, we learnt that girls who 'abuse' their body rights tend to be those who felt unloved and experience no protection at home. hence, they are constantly on the outside searching for men to love them....hopping from one to another and consequently, trading in their moral values for that 'imaginative' love moments!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A giggly schoolgirl of only 14, who should be hanging out with peers doing carefree stuff like shopping, sleepovers and makeovers—should NOT have to bear the ordeal of giving birth to a stillborn. But this was exactly what happened to a 14-year-old girl in Malaysia. Believe it or not, it was not her first experience, at this tender age.
4 abortions at 14...
The teenage girl, who still lives with her parents in a shophouse at Pulau Meranti, admitted to having not one, but four abortions. Which makes you wonder, where she went to get those complicated procedures done. How did she get the money? What were her “extra-curricular activities” like?
Her parents found her looking pale and weak one evening. Then they were astonished and alarmed to find their child bleeding profusely. They actually informed a close relative who then lodged a police report.
Upon arrival and inspection, the police found a stillborn baby in a yellow plastic bag, stashed away in the girl’s bedroom. After some questioning, the girl admitted to giving birth to the baby and then to have had four previous pregnancies prior to this one.
How could the parents not have noticed their little girl getting pregnant, not once, but four times? When did she start having sex to have had four abortions already?
Supt. Imran Abdul Rahman, Sepang OCPD, confirmed that police are investigating this case.
Abortion laws....
Like every other country, Singapore has laid down some ground rules too, when it comes to abortion. Here, it is legal to have an abortion on socio-medical grounds. The law states that there is no defined age limit and no legal requirement for parental consent for minors to get the abortion procedure done. However, abortion is prohibited after 24 weeks (6 months) of pregnancy, unless the mother’s life is in danger.
The Singapore Abortion Act also states that girls under 16 years of age have to go through a mandatory counselling session at the Health Promotion Board Counselling Centre. After the session, they will be issued a Certificate of Attendance (COA) – without the cert, abortion will not be legally permissible. A 48-hour waiting period after counselling is mandatory before the procedure can be carried out. Just so that reflection can be done—the worst thing is to regret after having a life taken out of you. There is no turning the clock back.
How well do you know your child?
We parents think that we know all there is to know about our children. What could our kids be hiding from us? Apparently, judging from the case above, the teen concealed a baby bump – and quite successfully for four times.
Talk to your kids about sex; educate them. It is better for them to know than to live in the dark. Or they might be driven to do some exploration of their own due to a healthy curiosity about sex—after all, it is a natural force of nature, it is innate.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
no one knows how our girls will turn out to be. but certainly, educating their moral values from young is important. teaching them to protect their sacred bodies is crucial.
through many stories, we learnt that girls who 'abuse' their body rights tend to be those who felt unloved and experience no protection at home. hence, they are constantly on the outside searching for men to love them....hopping from one to another and consequently, trading in their moral values for that 'imaginative' love moments!
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