to many, finding true happiness is a universal aspiration.
genuine happiness can't be faked, said Matthieu Ricard. after mri scanning in a wisconsin lsb in 2004,this man was tested off the charts, earning him his unusual scientific world title 'the happiest man in the world'.
this 64-yr old man is an author, photographer, former molecular geneticist and a researcher. his basic religious belief is buddhism.
matthieu quoted,"happiness is a deep sense of flourishing that arises from an exceptionally healthy mind. it's not what's happening around us that makes us unhappy, but rather the way we choose to react to it!"
i like it when he linked true happiness to a cluster of qualities that we can develop as skills like openness, genuine altruistic love, compassion inner strength, inner peace and inner contentment.
he further added that ego and self-centredness are the biggest threats to true happiness. taking focus off ourselves and concentrating on showing compassion to others is the beginning.
summing up his motto,"we need to nurture loving kindness, unconditional love, an act of generosity with no strings attached...and inner peace/ strength and contentment. together, those make a way of being - and that's what genuine happiness is all about'"
of course, on my part, knowing our creator and saviour is the most important truth that helps us live an enriched life.
amen.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
claire's tummy problem
for a while, claire has been suffering from tummy bloatedness with stitchy pain at different parts of her abdomen.
i knew she had to avoid cold stuff, spicy/ sour tom yam stuff and maybe heaty durian too. (yes, she took some durian puff on tues)
ystdy morn, she created an episode at home, yes, just before her sch going hr. rbr she had her immunisation jab in sch on tues aft and was whining a fair bit. maybe, she did feel uncomfortable with a lil temperature.
so, while getting ready for sch ystdy morn, she was almost in tears, when she came in to the bedroom to tell me that her stomach hurt. i could hv given her a day of off, if she has had fever or really felt sick. but on the basis of tummy discomfort, i would hv expected her to learn to manage her pain and proceeded with sch, but giving her the option,"if u truly feel unwell, call home in the morn and walk home with helper!"
she refused bfst and finally went into crying mode. it was hard for me to assess the severity of her tummy problem. so, she ended up being scolded by me again. gheez! to think that my morn was spoilt becoz' of her 'uncontrolled' behaviour and i had played right into it!
i sent her to sch eventually and decided to walk her in. so, instead of alighting her at the usual bus-stop for her to enter through the gate, i parked at the opposite public carpark to walk her in...then, she started her whole stressful whining again in tears,"why u nvr let me alight beside the gate? see lah, i'm going to be late again!"
wow, that was my last straw....i got down the car and disregarding the public stares, 我把她骂个臭头! she was totally embarassed and signalled me to stop my scolding.
her whole behaviour was a state of stress, fearing for this and that, and running from parade square to the sch hall lest she will be late.....i wonder why she can bear with the pain, when she's at home, watching tv or chewing on tidbits. but, to only kick up a fuss when it's sch going time! avoidance strategy?
the difficult part of it all was, it's hard to talk to the kids when they are whining and stressed out in tears...so, the whole matter was left at that.
in the aft when i picked her up, she was still complaining abt stomach discomfort and how she had tolerated it in sch. that was the point! tolerance.
my lecturing msg to her was simple,"it's knowing what food to avoid and learning to tolerate with pain. staying at home to laze ur time away isnt a wise strategy, unless a kid is genuinely sick! in the least, i would hv expected you to state verbally your level of physical discomfort, not cry....learning to manage one's stress is relevant. but to add on undue stress on one's shoulder is uncalled for!" she reslly ruined my morn.
she's been having some lousy teachers in sch and she's feeling the extra burden of sch work plus the exams coming? well, this is part and parcel of growing up, as i was advising her. without these, a kid will always remain young and childish!
i brought her to the doc to get some medication. she was simply diagnosed with colicky symptoms and was also prescribed with gastric syrup to overcome the problem. then, she happily went for her art class!
in the night, she was suddenly down with hot flush, probably a result of her jab the day before. some of her sch mates actually got fever! took panadol and seemed to recover fast.
i hope she will get better and meanwhile, i told her to cut down on cheesy and otak stuff, 2 of her favourite.
in the night, she was still working on her math problem sums but was certainly looking more relaxed. so, i reckon that she knew she's getting a day of rest on thur, so feeling no stress from handing in her sch work on time!
this is a growing up phase....but i want claire to gradually become more independent, be more mindful of what she eats and learn to deal with stress level! you either learn it now and or you will be attacked by it!
i knew she had to avoid cold stuff, spicy/ sour tom yam stuff and maybe heaty durian too. (yes, she took some durian puff on tues)
ystdy morn, she created an episode at home, yes, just before her sch going hr. rbr she had her immunisation jab in sch on tues aft and was whining a fair bit. maybe, she did feel uncomfortable with a lil temperature.
so, while getting ready for sch ystdy morn, she was almost in tears, when she came in to the bedroom to tell me that her stomach hurt. i could hv given her a day of off, if she has had fever or really felt sick. but on the basis of tummy discomfort, i would hv expected her to learn to manage her pain and proceeded with sch, but giving her the option,"if u truly feel unwell, call home in the morn and walk home with helper!"
she refused bfst and finally went into crying mode. it was hard for me to assess the severity of her tummy problem. so, she ended up being scolded by me again. gheez! to think that my morn was spoilt becoz' of her 'uncontrolled' behaviour and i had played right into it!
i sent her to sch eventually and decided to walk her in. so, instead of alighting her at the usual bus-stop for her to enter through the gate, i parked at the opposite public carpark to walk her in...then, she started her whole stressful whining again in tears,"why u nvr let me alight beside the gate? see lah, i'm going to be late again!"
wow, that was my last straw....i got down the car and disregarding the public stares, 我把她骂个臭头! she was totally embarassed and signalled me to stop my scolding.
her whole behaviour was a state of stress, fearing for this and that, and running from parade square to the sch hall lest she will be late.....i wonder why she can bear with the pain, when she's at home, watching tv or chewing on tidbits. but, to only kick up a fuss when it's sch going time! avoidance strategy?
the difficult part of it all was, it's hard to talk to the kids when they are whining and stressed out in tears...so, the whole matter was left at that.
in the aft when i picked her up, she was still complaining abt stomach discomfort and how she had tolerated it in sch. that was the point! tolerance.
my lecturing msg to her was simple,"it's knowing what food to avoid and learning to tolerate with pain. staying at home to laze ur time away isnt a wise strategy, unless a kid is genuinely sick! in the least, i would hv expected you to state verbally your level of physical discomfort, not cry....learning to manage one's stress is relevant. but to add on undue stress on one's shoulder is uncalled for!" she reslly ruined my morn.
she's been having some lousy teachers in sch and she's feeling the extra burden of sch work plus the exams coming? well, this is part and parcel of growing up, as i was advising her. without these, a kid will always remain young and childish!
i brought her to the doc to get some medication. she was simply diagnosed with colicky symptoms and was also prescribed with gastric syrup to overcome the problem. then, she happily went for her art class!
in the night, she was suddenly down with hot flush, probably a result of her jab the day before. some of her sch mates actually got fever! took panadol and seemed to recover fast.
i hope she will get better and meanwhile, i told her to cut down on cheesy and otak stuff, 2 of her favourite.
in the night, she was still working on her math problem sums but was certainly looking more relaxed. so, i reckon that she knew she's getting a day of rest on thur, so feeling no stress from handing in her sch work on time!
this is a growing up phase....but i want claire to gradually become more independent, be more mindful of what she eats and learn to deal with stress level! you either learn it now and or you will be attacked by it!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
pampered princess took an injection!
finally ,the 2 most adventurous (or rather dreadful) activities were over for princess claire.
firstly, it was the july p5 compulsory sch camp. anyway, she did it and had delightful time with few girls from another class, conquering feats of activities and enjoyed the adrenaline rush of flying fox, rock climbing and kayak -ing.
claire was glad that her canoe didn't over-turn, unlike a girl classmate of hers, who was put to sit with an over-weight 70kg boy.
the 2nd activity was the immunisation jab which she had ystday. i think it almost caused her to 'lose' her life.
when i called her at 7 plus after i finished class, she was almost liveless, losing her ability to talk. then, when i met her at home, she was 'whining' non-stop how the jab made her physically uncomfortable and gave her a feeling of tearing.....
when joy called her from outside and asked,"how are you, claire? heard u had an injection tdy!"
claire replied in self-pity,"i'm dying!"
joy and i had good laugh in the car, realising how exaggerating claire can be.
well, maybe she's one of those who 'sayang' her skin a lot. i recalled when she returned from her p5 camp, she was so mad with the sunburnt look on her skin, that every day, she would ask me,"mommy, how do i look fair again? any lotion for me to apply?"
anyway, i'm glad it's all over. moving in tandem with the kids' devts in sch is certainly interesting....
this wkend, the kids hv another party at the hip hop dance coach's house/ function room. joy and her 4 other girls under 'dfunkatron' hv signed up for a competition organised by the coach. winner stands to win cash too, haha. but, i knw, it's just the fun and spontaneity that joy is after, not the money.
i'm glad that she's able to dance impromptu for pple these days. i must say, it takes a lot of courage but she's made it.
when will claire's turn be? i hv been encouraging her to teach her cousins how to od the indian dance....it's really comical.
firstly, it was the july p5 compulsory sch camp. anyway, she did it and had delightful time with few girls from another class, conquering feats of activities and enjoyed the adrenaline rush of flying fox, rock climbing and kayak -ing.
claire was glad that her canoe didn't over-turn, unlike a girl classmate of hers, who was put to sit with an over-weight 70kg boy.
the 2nd activity was the immunisation jab which she had ystday. i think it almost caused her to 'lose' her life.
when i called her at 7 plus after i finished class, she was almost liveless, losing her ability to talk. then, when i met her at home, she was 'whining' non-stop how the jab made her physically uncomfortable and gave her a feeling of tearing.....
when joy called her from outside and asked,"how are you, claire? heard u had an injection tdy!"
claire replied in self-pity,"i'm dying!"
joy and i had good laugh in the car, realising how exaggerating claire can be.
well, maybe she's one of those who 'sayang' her skin a lot. i recalled when she returned from her p5 camp, she was so mad with the sunburnt look on her skin, that every day, she would ask me,"mommy, how do i look fair again? any lotion for me to apply?"
anyway, i'm glad it's all over. moving in tandem with the kids' devts in sch is certainly interesting....
this wkend, the kids hv another party at the hip hop dance coach's house/ function room. joy and her 4 other girls under 'dfunkatron' hv signed up for a competition organised by the coach. winner stands to win cash too, haha. but, i knw, it's just the fun and spontaneity that joy is after, not the money.
i'm glad that she's able to dance impromptu for pple these days. i must say, it takes a lot of courage but she's made it.
when will claire's turn be? i hv been encouraging her to teach her cousins how to od the indian dance....it's really comical.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
hard to look for a reliable tutor?
one parent approached me to teach her lower pri girl.
too bad, i hadnt got the time slot. next yr, maybe.
when in conversation, she told me that she would prefer a pte home tutor, rather than sending her girl to tuition centre, coz' she understands certain limitation of classroom teaching. attention time span of the child being one of them.
she was against engaging undergraduates as tutors, which i fully understand too! it's an issue of reliability when it comes to exam period which may clash with the tutors'...
in fact, she was sharing with me about a male tutor responding to her call, boasting eagerly of how he could transform her kid to a gifted stdt, his familiarity with the GEP syllabus and having all the questions on his head....
the parent was appalled, citing "he doesn't even knw my girl and her strengths/ limitations. how could he talk this way? in fact, he even assured me that 'result is guaranteed!' ya, sgd 60/ hr!"
yes, my jaws almost dropped when i heard her experience. 'pissed off' was the phrase that she used when it came to giving her account of that tutor.
halfway, she asked,"actually, to be frank, i wasnt keen to pick up any tutor coz' i was holding out for you! u really can't take her, huh! how about just a short tutoring after my boy? i can pay you more..!"
i declined flat. it's not the fees, it's not the short time squeezed in....although hubby always indicated that i could charge more for certain stdts/ parents/ locations.
aiya, that's not my style. 有缘没缘，一眼就知道咯！
i'll continue my 'selective' style...thks to the fact that i'm not relying on this job as bread and butter. thks to my dear hubby! it's a great feeling when one is not compelled to work for livelihood reason.
too bad, i hadnt got the time slot. next yr, maybe.
when in conversation, she told me that she would prefer a pte home tutor, rather than sending her girl to tuition centre, coz' she understands certain limitation of classroom teaching. attention time span of the child being one of them.
she was against engaging undergraduates as tutors, which i fully understand too! it's an issue of reliability when it comes to exam period which may clash with the tutors'...
in fact, she was sharing with me about a male tutor responding to her call, boasting eagerly of how he could transform her kid to a gifted stdt, his familiarity with the GEP syllabus and having all the questions on his head....
the parent was appalled, citing "he doesn't even knw my girl and her strengths/ limitations. how could he talk this way? in fact, he even assured me that 'result is guaranteed!' ya, sgd 60/ hr!"
yes, my jaws almost dropped when i heard her experience. 'pissed off' was the phrase that she used when it came to giving her account of that tutor.
halfway, she asked,"actually, to be frank, i wasnt keen to pick up any tutor coz' i was holding out for you! u really can't take her, huh! how about just a short tutoring after my boy? i can pay you more..!"
i declined flat. it's not the fees, it's not the short time squeezed in....although hubby always indicated that i could charge more for certain stdts/ parents/ locations.
aiya, that's not my style. 有缘没缘，一眼就知道咯！
i'll continue my 'selective' style...thks to the fact that i'm not relying on this job as bread and butter. thks to my dear hubby! it's a great feeling when one is not compelled to work for livelihood reason.
how a smart parent talks to her child
i hv a stdt who's street-smart, learns things fast but is not fond of revising work.
so, u can imagine how his results would suffer a little, given that lousy revision effort is translated to so-so results....
so, one day, after my math lesson with him, i was conversing with the mom.
"well, j did very well today. his grasp of concepts and his speed of doing work! just make sure he revises his work so as to familiarise with the techniques!" i complimented genuinely.
his mom added on while the boy looked on,"well, i nvr hv an issue with his intellectual capability! maybe we should cut off a figure of ms verlyn, put it beside j during the exams, so that he would feel the pressure to rbr things..." after which she turned more serious twds him,"well, j, u said u want to be an artchitect. that means math ability is very crucial...u hv to work twds ur goal!.."
this is a parent who doesn't nag at kids. but she wants the kid to realise the importance of setting a goal and making steps to achieve it.
as for me, i always tell this boy,"u reap what u sow. this lil effort equates this much yield/ harvest in ur life. not that u can't do it, but it's just that how u prioritise ur time each day!"
yeah, he would prefer to be at the pc (not playing online games though) exploring with the architectural structure and altering/ transforming into nice designs. what a different world from the local kids!
i wish j all the best. in fact, given his nature, i'm constantly thinking of how best i could assist him with the lil effort that he put into doing extra bit for his academic study.
so, u can imagine how his results would suffer a little, given that lousy revision effort is translated to so-so results....
so, one day, after my math lesson with him, i was conversing with the mom.
"well, j did very well today. his grasp of concepts and his speed of doing work! just make sure he revises his work so as to familiarise with the techniques!" i complimented genuinely.
his mom added on while the boy looked on,"well, i nvr hv an issue with his intellectual capability! maybe we should cut off a figure of ms verlyn, put it beside j during the exams, so that he would feel the pressure to rbr things..." after which she turned more serious twds him,"well, j, u said u want to be an artchitect. that means math ability is very crucial...u hv to work twds ur goal!.."
this is a parent who doesn't nag at kids. but she wants the kid to realise the importance of setting a goal and making steps to achieve it.
as for me, i always tell this boy,"u reap what u sow. this lil effort equates this much yield/ harvest in ur life. not that u can't do it, but it's just that how u prioritise ur time each day!"
yeah, he would prefer to be at the pc (not playing online games though) exploring with the architectural structure and altering/ transforming into nice designs. what a different world from the local kids!
i wish j all the best. in fact, given his nature, i'm constantly thinking of how best i could assist him with the lil effort that he put into doing extra bit for his academic study.
a wonderful and unique bdae wish!
corny, despite her bz work schedule, had wished me on facebook a beautiful wish.
couldn't rbr the exact words. but it said sth to the effect, "age has not taken away ur beauty. it merely shift the beauty from the face to the heart...." wow, that's really sth to me!
aging is not scary, except when the spare organ parts give way. aging is akin to wisdom accumulation, in my opinion.
i will like to rbr this wish and live good examples of the fact that beauty is not just skin deep.
of coz, that doesn't mean that i will stop spending money on facial, hair, mani/ pedi, haha....it's impt to keep the appearance up, so that one will not look haggard and sloppy. surely, i wouldn't want to walk into yoguru one day and being laughed at,"wow, this aunty also knws how to eat yoguru yogurt!" (plse reference this comment to my previous post about 'bz sat - 23 july 2011'!
golden rule to rbr (akin to joy's golden ticket, haha).....
couldn't rbr the exact words. but it said sth to the effect, "age has not taken away ur beauty. it merely shift the beauty from the face to the heart...." wow, that's really sth to me!
aging is not scary, except when the spare organ parts give way. aging is akin to wisdom accumulation, in my opinion.
i will like to rbr this wish and live good examples of the fact that beauty is not just skin deep.
of coz, that doesn't mean that i will stop spending money on facial, hair, mani/ pedi, haha....it's impt to keep the appearance up, so that one will not look haggard and sloppy. surely, i wouldn't want to walk into yoguru one day and being laughed at,"wow, this aunty also knws how to eat yoguru yogurt!" (plse reference this comment to my previous post about 'bz sat - 23 july 2011'!
golden rule to rbr (akin to joy's golden ticket, haha).....
bz sat - 23 july 2011
early in the morn, we sent joy down to toa payoh cc for her dance audition. two of the other girls, g and j, came into our car from toa payoh mrt for a short ride to the destination.
g had a new rebonding hairdo with tinge of red on her left side. well, she's lucky to be in polytechnic coz' the rules are not stringent with hair color/ appearance. i thot she looked chio too! i mean, the hair color did carry a lil of k-pop dancer feel. j, in her usual naturel look, except with 2 big dash/ brush of strokes on her eye lids, was pretty too! j, while seemingly shy in public, has a powerful aura on stage!
i asked j,"u must hv got a lot of attn on the mrt, i mean ur net legging and the strokes on the lids.."
"no lah, aunty, my dad fetched me here. coz' this morn, when my mom saw my eye make-up, she said i looked like a panda and told my dad to fetch me here!" j responded in a humorous manner.
i took off my sunglasses and told her,"look at my panda eyes. how could u beat me?"
well, off we whizzed the girls to the destination.
anyway, they got through the audition with favourable comments from the judges about their schronized choreo, appearance and power swing in hair. the only small feedback was that the costumes could be more uniform and some small steps could be perfected. the girls were elated coz' they were the first group to get the golden ticket, haha.
during the shoot after the audition, joy told me that she and the other 4 girls were natural and happy to pose, when the photographer's lenses were on them! she must be imagining herself to clear the semi-final and final round in sep, to get into the teens' cover page. well, may her wish come true, though i always tell her,"不要强求！"
afterall, these competitions meant a trade-in of study time. but at this age, she has won my TRUST on time mgt. in fact, she had discussed with me about the possibility of taking part in this competition, given that it will be near to her vjc's promo exams.
i said yes, only after her assurance that she would make earlier sch preparation.
claire also had an syf public performance at nlb, the plaza. it was a breezy afternoon with parents as supporters. when it came to her item, many kiasu parents flooded to the front to take videos and pics of their own kids. this blocked off many's views of the front stage. how unthoughtful, i was griping to hubby a little.
soon, we left for a bdae party at costa sands, where joy and claire had 2 common friends (siblings). for the first time, my 2 daughters helped out with bbq chickens and others. well, not a job for me definitely.
e-hub was certainly crowded, not a place for us. upon my recommendation, hubby and i went hunting for simple fish beehoon soup at the foodcourt. it was delicious and light, after our heavy seafood meal on friday night. yoguru was next in line, with 2 toppings of almond. haha, that filled up our whole bowl and 我们也吃得过瘾哦！we spent time playing some simple games, stacking letter after letter to transform into new words, while waiting for the kids.
i must say he was good....the usual creative mind was at work! from the word PLOT, we reached level 50 (ha, my best stdt with me had only reached level 16). i was truly satisfied. in fact, we used to play scrabbles over the wkend before joy's birth.
soon, a group of women came in to eat the yoghurt. naughty hubby remarked,"didnt knw that aunties also knw how to eat here!" i took a peek and responded,"hey, they are about our age, u knw? why call them aunties, it's our generation, yo!"
haha, maybe the MAN felt that he didn't look like an uncle? or my companionship at his side made him feel that he's younger, haha. in any case, as long as aunties and uncles could afford it, no one could forbid them to visit any places,rite? lame.
then, it was home sweet home! i was completely bushed as well as claire's. her dance performance usually drained her of a lot of energy, coupled with the fact that she only had light snacks like otah and satay for dinner at the party. i made her a cup of hot milo with 2 cream cracker biscuits....that wrapped up her 'lovely' supper meal....and it was time for 'ra ra' dreamland!
joy was still reeling from the hyper mood of the audition and managed to sleep only much after!
g had a new rebonding hairdo with tinge of red on her left side. well, she's lucky to be in polytechnic coz' the rules are not stringent with hair color/ appearance. i thot she looked chio too! i mean, the hair color did carry a lil of k-pop dancer feel. j, in her usual naturel look, except with 2 big dash/ brush of strokes on her eye lids, was pretty too! j, while seemingly shy in public, has a powerful aura on stage!
i asked j,"u must hv got a lot of attn on the mrt, i mean ur net legging and the strokes on the lids.."
"no lah, aunty, my dad fetched me here. coz' this morn, when my mom saw my eye make-up, she said i looked like a panda and told my dad to fetch me here!" j responded in a humorous manner.
i took off my sunglasses and told her,"look at my panda eyes. how could u beat me?"
well, off we whizzed the girls to the destination.
anyway, they got through the audition with favourable comments from the judges about their schronized choreo, appearance and power swing in hair. the only small feedback was that the costumes could be more uniform and some small steps could be perfected. the girls were elated coz' they were the first group to get the golden ticket, haha.
during the shoot after the audition, joy told me that she and the other 4 girls were natural and happy to pose, when the photographer's lenses were on them! she must be imagining herself to clear the semi-final and final round in sep, to get into the teens' cover page. well, may her wish come true, though i always tell her,"不要强求！"
afterall, these competitions meant a trade-in of study time. but at this age, she has won my TRUST on time mgt. in fact, she had discussed with me about the possibility of taking part in this competition, given that it will be near to her vjc's promo exams.
i said yes, only after her assurance that she would make earlier sch preparation.
claire also had an syf public performance at nlb, the plaza. it was a breezy afternoon with parents as supporters. when it came to her item, many kiasu parents flooded to the front to take videos and pics of their own kids. this blocked off many's views of the front stage. how unthoughtful, i was griping to hubby a little.
soon, we left for a bdae party at costa sands, where joy and claire had 2 common friends (siblings). for the first time, my 2 daughters helped out with bbq chickens and others. well, not a job for me definitely.
e-hub was certainly crowded, not a place for us. upon my recommendation, hubby and i went hunting for simple fish beehoon soup at the foodcourt. it was delicious and light, after our heavy seafood meal on friday night. yoguru was next in line, with 2 toppings of almond. haha, that filled up our whole bowl and 我们也吃得过瘾哦！we spent time playing some simple games, stacking letter after letter to transform into new words, while waiting for the kids.
i must say he was good....the usual creative mind was at work! from the word PLOT, we reached level 50 (ha, my best stdt with me had only reached level 16). i was truly satisfied. in fact, we used to play scrabbles over the wkend before joy's birth.
soon, a group of women came in to eat the yoghurt. naughty hubby remarked,"didnt knw that aunties also knw how to eat here!" i took a peek and responded,"hey, they are about our age, u knw? why call them aunties, it's our generation, yo!"
haha, maybe the MAN felt that he didn't look like an uncle? or my companionship at his side made him feel that he's younger, haha. in any case, as long as aunties and uncles could afford it, no one could forbid them to visit any places,rite? lame.
then, it was home sweet home! i was completely bushed as well as claire's. her dance performance usually drained her of a lot of energy, coupled with the fact that she only had light snacks like otah and satay for dinner at the party. i made her a cup of hot milo with 2 cream cracker biscuits....that wrapped up her 'lovely' supper meal....and it was time for 'ra ra' dreamland!
joy was still reeling from the hyper mood of the audition and managed to sleep only much after!
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