passions vs basic techniques

a debate is currently on-going at my home.

my 2 girls who dance, told the dad that passion is more impt than basic techniques, for a start.

joy cited that jacky, the dance instructor has ignited her passion in dance. although the daddy felt that like martial arts, dance should also emphasise on all basic steps, before a move can be delivered to perfection. (well, he has martial arts background so obviously is convicted of his own views).

my 2 girls adamantly disagreed, saying,"dad, if i hv no passion, i won't be even keen to learn the basic dance steps. passion initially, and i'm sure i will thereafter take time to explore into how to perfect my steps. it's nvr too late..."

well, my view is in line with the girls. for simple reason, i hv seen many of claire's dance friends from sch quit in lower pri, coz' they said they hated the rigorous training that gave them bruised bodies and limbs. plus all the fierce scolding from the china instructors, how could passion be ignited, and we are not even talking about perseverance here?

joy is the living example. over the yrs, she has often surfed the net for blogshopping and dance moves, simply becoz she wants to know more and improve....need i to tell her what to do? of coz not!

so, passion links a long path to one's learning.

basic techniques for for those who are matured and able to take hardships. in today's society, i dun foresee having too many of such kids around!

(in fact, it was reported recently that the reason for the fall of lion dance recruitment is, many cited tough training and coupled with the stereotyped image of the gang triad associated with the activities).

i guess, the trend in thinking has changed. i hv to change too, in order to move with my kids, else one day, i will be left on the street, due to inability to communicate with my kids, haha.

jc life

ystdy, while driving the girls for the dance classes, joy was just sharing with me that, in her view, her easy-going character appears more suited for poly life rather than jc life.

she cited some examples how competitive the mates are in the college when it comes to retaining information (ie. not wanting to share them).

as a mom, all i told her was,"the real life is such. every one has an inner selfish desire. so, this is a prep platform to the real world in reality, when she starts to work!"

maybe, it's hard for her to comprehend. simply becoz' her sec sch friends are all very nice like her, willing to teach and impart knowledge.

of coz, with joy's maturity, it's not a regret choice for jc route. i guess, in life, our kids will encounter many situations that might take them backwards a little, but having someone to share at home (like ourselves), will certainly make her feel like being able to find an outlet for her emotions.

like what i said,"u should look beyond the less than 2-yr time frame...always believe in hard learning, then blissful enjoyment!"

truly, how many kids enjoy such sweetness of cozy life, that the moment they are thrown into the oceanic sea, the current would cause them to free-fall all the ways.

i was reading an article from reader's digest. a quote from bill clinton that the difference btwn people of today and past days is, the current ones have a choice and that's such a great privilege. so, he advocates that we should find sth we care about where we can make a difference with whatever time or money we have.

the way i interpret it is, find sth where ur passion can last.....

test of patience

i hv been enjoying a relatively good life till yati's departure on 5th feb.

now with the new helper, close supervision is required.

sometimes, even with repeated instructions, i wonder if she completely understands me.

just last night after my classes, i was losing a bit of patience with her. all i wanted was that she had more initiative to think for each member in the family. maybe, at this point in time, she's still used to taking fixed instruction, therefore never really used her brain to think of doing things in optimal manner.

well, even my 2 kids came to tell me,"mommy, dun talk so loud to her lah! she will be scared!"

but i maintained my point that 'training a good helper at home isnt a bed of roses!" many people see my ex-helper, yati, as a very beneficial help, not knowing that effort has been put in to train her as well.

i would rather make the helper understand the demands right from the beginning and be a little strict, rather than being lenient and losing 'authority' over her at later point in time.

up to now, there are no major issues with the new helper.

maybe, it's time to put my patience to test and to make me a better person.

gotta think of what to cook for the family members today. so, i will not waste any energy on trivialities!

claire's buddy reading program

last week, claire brought back a form to give affirmative reply to allow her to sign up for buddy reading program.

"are you keen?" i asked.

"mommy, do you think i should go?" she sought advice from me.

"well, let's see. aiya, look, the time is so early, do you think you want to sacrifice your sleep to do such cip program in school?" i queried.

her normal reporting sch hours is 7.30 am, but with this reading program with the p1 kids, she has to be 20 mins early, ie. 7.20 am.

in the end, i kinda 'discouraged' her as i wanted her to have more sleep. or maybe, it was for selfish reason, that i wanted my back to have longer rest on the bed.

suddenly, claire reminded,"mommy, i think i go lah. surely, i can wake up. also, not everyone is selected, you knw, in my class, only a few! maybe, my oral reading has always been good, that's why they chose me!"

ok ok, since it was a privileged participation, i gave my nod.

the form was submitted. this morn, the training session started. so, off we scooted by 7.10 am and i sure hope this program will spur her on to help people, by just taking a little of her time off from sleep.

many a times, children seek advice from parents, but i think we should in turn let them explore the oppy of taking on a task, rather than instructing them on what to do.

i am certainly proud of claire. i'm hoping that she will emerge with more confidence like joy, the way she puts her best in dance.

joy's precious hair

fancy joy getting up at 6 am just to get her hair wash and blow, before tying up in a satisfactory way ready for school.

well, for claire and me, it would hv been catching up with 45 more minutes of sleep. undoubtedly.

aye, different age group places emphasis on different things, i guess. joy's hair is the 'queen', to be treated with diligent care!

well, at least, she keeps herself fresh throughout her long day.

the only problem after 6 am, i keep spotting a fleeting image travelling in and out of my room, using my mirror to perfect her hairdo.

this is joy, the one with the almighty precious hair.

i certainly hope she won't go bald like an eagle one day. else, she will sure go into secret hiding and tears, not wanting anyone to see her naked scalp.

lastly, i hope joy will enjoy her school life and will live up to her 'prophecy' that she will not likely to have a chance to put on weight, coz' she's going to dance so many times a week. it's with good perseverance attitude that she gets into dance audition at vjc, and i am proud of her.

post departure of yati

5/2/10
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yati left us on 5 feb 2010, sat. 2.15 pm flight to bandung.


afternoon, we landed at yipo's house. when the insensitive gong gong was happily yakking about yati, claire broke into tears again. well, we were just returning from airport, what do you think?

when we got back in the night, claire suddenly stared into the blank space and covered her face with a book, sobbing away silently.

when i asked her why, she sadly revealed,"i'm just thinking, come mon, who will bathe for me and help me change before school?"

"oh yes, mommy will wake up for the next 1 week to help you do all these, ok? dun worry, i m still around!"

with that assurance, her emotions were better in control.

despite her sad mood, she was the victorious winner for rummikub game in the night, winning $5 from joy.

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7 feb 2010, mon

i honoured my promise to wake up to help claire get ready for school. well, she beat me to it, having changed into the uniform herself. well, without yati, claire will definitely be more independent.

when jumi was assisting her with tying claire's hair, joy suddenly popped in front of me,"mommy, did you scold claire?"

"no," came my stunned reply.

"but she's crying in the room," joy replied.

"ok ok, she must be missing yati again when jumi ties her hair!"

true, like what angie said, it's the personal touch. with claire, yati has injected a lot of personal touch in her life. from the age of 4 plus, yati bathed her, held her, massaged her (yes, no kidding, claire got her princess massage at bath time)....everything in this household and claire's cabinet have a midas touch of yati!

she has done many art and craft work with claire. she has also taught claire how to sew and has personally sewn many small pillows for her.....i bet you, claire would never abandon all these little small items.

memories go a long way.....hvnt we heard that the hardest thing in life, is not to love someone, but to forget someone!

i'm sure, with my dear chrysan mom, we all make the same pledge!

all the more, we should learn to treasure those who are still around....

yati's departure

yati left us on 5 feb 2010.

i'm making a post her to remember that special day.

well, all i can say is that, she worked all the way to the last minute. even before she left, the new helpher has to ask her what went wrong with the washing machine, that the rinse function was not working. before that, we had a tripartitie session to discuss about attitudes and work performance.

anyway, when joy and claire presented her with the cards and little gift of a multi-photo frame with pics of herself and our family, she was already getting emotional. upon reading claire's simple card (well, claire only expressed in simple english, unlike joy, injecting lots of humour).

claire wrote,"dear aunty yati, you are going away today. i will always remember you (will not forget your forever). i wish you will..." at that point, yati got up from her chair and in her sorrowful mood, walked back to the kitchen.

looking at her staggering movement as if going to fall, i was also feeling a little mournful, haha.

hey, the cards written by joy and myself were 'cold storaged', ie. not read.

for a while, joy came to me in slight croc tears that yati was holding on to her shoulders reminding joy to be good, study hard and not make me angry....haha, only she understands my parenting woes.

claire was in the worst shape. she was uncontrollable, i would say. hiding herself in the room sobbing away. aiya, needless to say, the new helper, jumi, also felt a tinge of sadness.

i was joking with hubby,"the new one crying, dunno whether it's because there's no one to rely on after yati is gone, or she's genuinely sad!"

of coz, deep in my heart, i knw yati has won the favour of many pple who have tasted her cooking, which was always done with her kind heart.

on the way to the airport, i reminded my kids, esp the heavy-weight joy, to help with the 26 kg luggage lugging. afterall, yati has helped us so much with all the chores at home, not to mention we two always exploring how to whip up dishes for the family members.

only my dear hubby has the 'cheek' to say that, "我在这个家庭是最没有地位的，对女佣，连一声都没出过！" omg, fancy my having to quickly correct him,"the real siuation is this, 我总是在你前面挡着全部的灾难与风风雨雨，you basically just sit there and reap good harvest and eat good food!" whether he was convinced, this is the truth, haha.

at the airport, we took some pics for memory sake. for the first time, i felt that yati was so tiny, like a school girl, despite her 32 years of age.

when she walked into the custom, we genuinely bade her farewell.....frankly, i could nvr find another person like her. dedicated and responsible, and more importantly having a heart to serve every member in this family!

i wish her best and we will surely meet again, one day....she has left many prints of good work in my family, my mom's and many of my friends.

we love her....

p/s: at the airport, after yati's departure, a friends' teenie boy msged me,"plse tell aunty yati that she's the best helper ever. i thank her for always cooking delicious food for me to eat and ...."