my uncle, who suffered for barely 2 weeks in the hospital after some complications in health, has decided to call his life an end.
as the doc had advised that upon discharge after an op, he would no longer be able to eat like a normal human, but needed to be fed liquid milk through a hole in the throat, plus being wheelchair-bound, he uttered to his wife in cantonese,"生不如死！"
so, after giving up his will to live, he was pronounced dead after 2 days. dun u see how fragile human life can be! according to my mom, he was still holidaying in macau last month, and was eagerly planning for a trip back to china hometown, together with the other siblings' folks! too bad, he didnt survive to reach that stage.
at the wake, i was really amazed at my aunty's ability to take the death so calmly. she said, upon hindsight, it was his wish and being a man of pride, it would be difficult for him to live in such 'un-dignified' way! furthermore, she mentioned that he has been rather fiery-tempered these last 6 mths, that serving him on sick bed might be really a challenge.
couplehood is a supporting one. 'in sickness or in health, we stay together!" so pledged the marriage vow.
but the reality of life is , when one spouse is really ill and needs lots of attention from the other one, it will be a real burden to the latter. mental torture but emotional baggage, it's not easy, trust me. i see it with my own eyes
emotional support when one's spouse suffers from low mood is bearable. but, having a journey of no recovery of health for our spouse, i think, is really disheartening.
i'm glad my aunty is fine....i'm sure she will live happily coz she enjoys mahjong sessions and kitchenwork. she is fortunate to be staying with sons and have grandchildren to keep her occupied.
ultimately, when one passes on, everything comes to naught.....so, save the trouble of argument over trivialities and become a better self. that's my profound life's principles these days.
how does that sound?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I am reminded of an inscription on a tomb stone:
ReplyDelete'It's not the duration of the years of life, what matters is what is between the years.'
I myself would not yearn for a 'long' life if it is meaningless and unhappy, apart from looking wrinkly, toothless and bald perhaps? Birth and death is all part of the life cycle and death is ultimately unavoidable.Do not be too sad; life goes on.
jean, u r absolutely right!
ReplyDeleteit's always the quality of how one spends his life, rather than the length.
with body spare parts already on the path to deterioration, we should not yearn for long lives anymore...just live cheerfully and do things to pamper ourselves, and find the truth in life.
Our aunt is very wise in her analysis and most impt of all, he would not want to live his remaining years in such un-indignified manner. His photo at the wake was taken during their Macau trip last mth, still so smart looking at age of 69. Always a smart and good looking uncle in my memories.
ReplyDelete