is strict parenting stifling for the child's growth?

claire had a small 11th bdae celeb this week.

6 friends attended her party at my place. girls in all shapes and height were present right before me.

one korean girl told me,"aunty, i can't take chicken or pork. coz' i'm on a 3-mth medication to grow tall, and this medicine forbids me from taking poultry meat. i can only take fish and beef!"

so, i had to make tempura prawn in crepe for her, which she enjoyed. all enjoyed the creamy sauce sphaghetti too!

one girl,z approached me to call her daddy to extend her stay at my place.

she has been ordered to reach home by 1.30 pm via public bus. reason: to revise for her coming exams. so, the phone line was connected.

me: hello, is that mr boh?

he: yes, who's that?

me: oh, i'm claire's mother. we plan to cut the cake at 2 plus, so can ur daughter stay for the party a little while later?

he: (paused for a while) hmm...actually, i want her to come back now. she has to exercise some discipline!

me: (shocked and speechless with the word 'discipline') okay, what about if i let her eat the cake first and then send her home?

he: no, ask her to take a bus back on her own now.

i had to hand the phone back to her daughter, who was looking really upset to leave the party halfway, when the bunch of rowdy girls were having good fun!

without taking a bite of the bdae cake, i let her take home an 'awfully chocolate' cupcake as a substitute.

in the car, i asked z,"is ur home discipline very strict?"

z: ya! my dad always wants us to score 100 marks for exams. he always tells us that he achieved that standard when young and always topped the class!

me: (knowing it was just bullshit coz i hv used such tricks before) oh, i see. but it's quite difficult to score 100 marks, u knw?

so, the strict father had spoilt the fun for the young girl. she might appear obedient now, but it's just another few more yrs before she reaches that 'rebellious' age....in fact, this girl is very street-smart and quite well-liked by the teacher for being outspoken.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

next day, at school, z told claire, "when my parents chided me, i just told them 'it's not my problem, what! my friends wanted me to stay longer and refused to let me go!'"

when claire told me that, i was quite shocked. this girl has begun to put blame on other people in order to avoid the reprimand.....not a very good sign, in my opinion.

frankly, parents' concern over kids' well being and academic performance is understandable. but sths, being overly strict can be over-bearing for the kids. one thing i am certain about, such strict discipline can't work for long.

i would rather give the kids some peace in social life and make sure that they understand their boundaries and not find us over-controlling.