one 50ish father shared that teaching our kids is so impt, particularly from young age. not teaching a kid = hating a kid. ha, what a good way to put it. when u love someone, u will discipline and teach him, rite?
he has only 1 daughter, a pretty and educated one.
in his own words,'from young, we believe in teaching her. we set down conditions for her to be aware when her punishment will be meted. for instance, show disrespect for elders/ grandparents, nvr greet, lying, lazy, rude ....'
he continued,'now that she's much older, i can't beat her anymore, rite? so, i'll call her into the room and scold her!' he said it with such sense of humour that made me laugh.
but behind it all, i am all for disciplining a child. indeed, the basis of our kids' human/ humane behaviour is gravitated on the values we hv imparted to them since young. it's like a building block made up of many cells. only with the foundation cells, the mature theme cells can be further stacked up and strengthened....without it, there's no common understanding of the importance of any value discussion.
say, a person with extravagant habit talk to one with 'thrift' value, it's not going to end up anywhere.
similarly, a well-loved person to talk to another whose family is broken and he growing up on his own merits, there will not be a common ground of understanding what 'family love' is all about!
in theory, spare the road and spoil the child. 子不教，父（母）之过！
hv i ever spared the rod? well, truthfully, i dun use the rod coz' i recalled how my mom, when we were young, would use the cane so hard on my siblings, that she will cry while applying ointment for them, after seeing the bruises on their limbs.
所谓，打在儿身上，痛在娘身上！
so, my method is more direct. if a kid abuses her mouth with wrong words or stares hard with rudeness, her mouth will end up being slapped and her eyes will end up being 捏。if she stomps her feet, her thighs will receive a thunderous 'applause'.
isn't it more direct that way, haha? sometimes, the kids might think we are nagging at them, but what needs to be imparted cannot be spared....that's my perspective. nobody can change it!
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Talking about values. We were at the food court having breakfast this morning, Nini complimented on the shirt that Orange wore. She said " papa wear nice". As she was wearing a Hush Puppies polo with a big puppy logo, I told her "papa's shirt is nice but Nini's shirt is even nicer". Immediately, Orange told me I shouldn't teach her about comparison. Then I said then she won't be able to learn the word "nicer" but Orange said the value we instill in her before age 3 is very important. Well, what he said makes sense too. I think there's no straight forward way to bring up a child. 这是一门学问.
ReplyDeleteOrange does know how to teach kid, good for you. And yes, don't teach comparison but mum tends to do that though. I used to hate the comparison.
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